


Catapult

by Enolu



Series: Stay like this; stay with me [6]
Category: Gundam SEED, Gundam SEED Destiny
Genre: Anal Sex, Anger Management, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Bisexuality, Come Swallowing, Complicated Relationships, Deepthroating, Double Penetration, Emotionally Repressed, F/M, Facials, Fantasizing, Finger Sucking, Forced Masturbation, Hurt/Comfort, Jealousy, Love Confessions, Mental Anguish, Oral Sex, Past Drug Use, Past Relationship(s), Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-War, Pre-Threesome, Rimming, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Slice of Life, Spitroasting, Threesome - F/M/M, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:34:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enolu/pseuds/Enolu
Summary: After what happened the last time with her - or what didn't happen - it would be like recovering from a minor bike accident, and then volunteering to stand in the middle of a busy highway. Seems like an escalated kinda mess, and Shinn's supposed to be smarter these days.
Relationships: Cagalli Yula Athha/Athrun Zala, Shinn Asuka/Athrun Zala, Shinn Asuka/Cagalli Yula Athha
Series: Stay like this; stay with me [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1735528
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Catapult

The week has been hard and full of crap and vomit. Shinn hasn't been enjoying his penultimate year as a medical student, which is not to say he's been having an easy time with any of it. But these attachments to the hospital four blocks from his rented place have been shittier than anything in medical school so far. The ambulatory care sessions were frantic for him, the doctors that he was supposed to assist probably think he's stupid, and he'll have to find time this weekend to digest the experience. He's also falling behind on some lectures, but he's too tired from the shift attachment and has decided to make dinner at one-thirty in the morning.

Had he not harboured such strong reasons for wanting to become a medic, he might have dropped out with half the cohort by the second year. Looking at corpses and parts in formalhyde for anatomy classes had been as good as any reason to drop out, but he'd already dealt with death before and so managed to keep his lunch down. Some of his batch mates still call him "Steel Asuka", because he never as much as flinched in operation theatre sessions and the word eventually got around that he used to be a Zaft fighter pilot. Shinn doesn't respond to the nickname with any pride, and he hasn't ever bothered explaining to these much younger batch mates what the wars were like.

He's putting his lasagna into the microwave, his music player playing a noisy oldie in the dormitory's kitchen. The song helps to block out the ambulance sirens outside the window. He remembers that he needs to answer that text from Vino and Yoland, who want to catch up for a basketball game and eat at some bistro. They all go to different universities, so it's hard enough catching up. But it's also like he lives in a different time zone now, because of his shifts.

The lasagna basically tastes like a heated-up composite of disappointment, but he eats it anyway and cracks open an energy drink. He needs to work out tomorrow - the weekend has a longer shift and he won't have time to gym. He's so focused on dealing with the present that he only notices Cagalli's message after he's washed up.

X

She's fucking nuts. That's his first thought. When he reads her message, which is coded to scramble and destruct after he's read it, he's reminded of how he became close to her, and why he sought comfort from her that time when he was staying and volunteering in an Orb orphanage. She seems so stable, but she's really living in a very strange world, in strange times when she's so young to be her country's leader.

There isn't really anything obviously wrong about what she's suggesting they indulge in. But maybe this is like that time, when she's being reckless probably just because she can't afford to be reckless. It's unthinkable that she's asking for this, and from him - of all people. One night stands are called one night stands for a reason. But maybe they're just shit at following the rules - they've kinda kept in contact for all these years, and it's been four years since that one time.

He doesn't think about that time so much, even though he had turned it over in his mind so much during the first few weeks. He actually doesn't think about the past anymore - not his family or the war, or Stellar, or Luna. He doesn't want to dwell on that encounter with Cagalli much either - time's passed, and he's too busy trying to learn and study and pass every damn examination that medical students have to work through. Working always distracts him. But it's also not like he hasn't slept with anyone since then, even though he's been wary of relationships and commitments.

He thinks he's actually in a good place now. He's on his way to finishing medical school, his finances and life are in order, and he doesn't crave direction, acceptance and affection from others so strongly anymore. It's been a while since the war and Zaft, and it's been a while since that one time he did anything really stupid - like kill people, support a genocidal loony, and go to bed with Orb's lead emir. He doesn't need to live in the past - ironically, she'd been the one to remind him of that, those four years ago. Equally, he doesn't need to see her, or keep in contact the way that they sporadically do, or do crazy shit like try a threesome with some random other person.

After what happened the last time with her - or what didn't happen - it would be like recovering from a minor bike accident, and then volunteering to stand in the middle of a busy highway. Seems like an escalated kinda mess, and Shinn's supposed to be smarter these days.

So yeah, he should say thanks, but no thanks. No judgement and you do you and all that shtick. He starts typing on his phone. But then he deletes his answer.

Her message is still unanswered. He doesn't want to decide on instinct. So he flicks open some online articles about it, and it looks hot because porn's misleading like that, but he's also not that stupid to not get how awkward and gross it can be. Of course, that's also most kinds of sex, pretty much.

He decides he'll ask Vino and Yolan, who aren't his university classmates and can't tease him forever. Anyway, it's not like he'll name names, and he'll say he asking for a friend.

X

"So this so-called friend isn't scared of having to perform with another dude around?" Vino is still red-faced from the game, and hearing about Shinn's friend's dilemma makes him flustered too. "I mean, what if your friend can't get hard?"

"Don't think it's an issue." Shinn hadn't really considered that. He's thinks he's good enough in bed - unless his previous partners were lying through their teeth.

Next to him, Yolan shrugs. "If I were you, Shinn, I'd go for it. I mean, if you're saying she's hot, why not? Unless you actually like her, like properly like her, then it's not that complicated. We're like, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Gotta live a little."

"It's not me, it's my friend." Shinn says. It sounds weak even to his ears.

Yolan looks throughly unconvinced. "Yeah whatever, does your friend like the girl? Are they like, friends? Will this change the friendship?”

"Don't think so."

"Then I don't get what's the holdup."

He doesn't love her. That's certain - he's really clearheaded these days, so it's probably going to be fine. But he's a friend of sorts - they still text from time to time about the kids in the orphanage that he used to hang with. He likes her personality, and they'd been able to be cool with each other even after that one time they messed around.

He had actually wanted to see her again, at that time. He's not had a reason or excuse to see her since then. He'd been crushed when she didn't seem to care more. He got over it only after half a year. She's offering a reason, after all this time. He's okay now. He kinda wants to try this. This will be okay, maybe.

"You know what," Yolan is saying, "Your friend should just do it. Might as well."

Vino continues to wipe at his sweat. He doesn't seem enthusiastic at all. "I think it's weird. It could get way awkward. Depends how hot she is, I guess. Is she hot?"

Shinn catches himself before he slips up. "I don't know. She's my friend's friend."

But he does know. He thinks she's really pretty, and he's never done anything like this before. He's actually curious. She's sexy too, without her really leaning into it. He didn't know she was kinky and wild like that.

Yolan rolls his eyes. "If she's hot, I'd go for it. Unless you're scared of group stuff and seeing another guy's dick. You know, if anybody asked me, I'd be getting nekkid already."

"Ain't nobody inviting your ass to the party, Yolan."

Shinn's watched those porn holograms before, and it's true that group sex isn't his thing. The closest was that one time he and his lab buddy went partying and they traded their partners midway. But it isn't true that he has an aversion to sex with another man around. He'd wanked off with Rey that one time in the camp's communal showers - they'd been young and broken, high on some random painkiller substances they'd nicked from training, and Rey had been a calming presence and conveniently the most beautiful man that Shinn had ever met. Anyway, Shinn was sure he wasn't gay or bi after that.

They go for another round of basketball, and that's when Shinn figures he'd be okay. She contacted him for this - she probably could have asked anyone else, but she asked him.

He thinks about fucking her while he's in the shower when he gets home from the game, but he's too tired to jerk off, and he takes a smoke after. He picked up that habit last year, and he's said that he'll stop by the end of his housemanship.

He thinks about her and those cat-like, amber eyes - or maybe it's the last person he slept with a few weeks ago after that pub crawl - there's a weird thought of Luna and her body too, even though that was such a long time ago. Luna's still a Zaft instructor and clearly not into him anymore, but whatever. They wanted different things. He has other stuff in his life - he has exams to pass too. And now, he's gonna get his ass to some threesome next weekend.

He texts Cagalli back, sets his alarm, and falls asleep quite promptly.

X

Hey, how are you? Listen, I've been thinking about trying something. Have you done a threesome before?

Okay, no, but are you asking if I want to try one? With you? The answer's yes, by the way. Maybe, yeah. Doing it for shits and giggles. What are you thinking of?

Nothing too crazy, but with another man. No fucking the other guy.

No being fucked by the other guy?

No.

Thanks, wasn't interested in that anyway.

Just touching with the hands and mouth, maybe.

I'm ok with that, yeah. Just to be clear.

He can't save her self-erasing, encrypted messages, but he replays what he wrote in his again and again. He doesn't get any more insight. Like Vino said, it could become a mess.

Shinn's not trying to guess, but he thinks it might be that emir - the Rutherford fellow. Seems like she's seeing an Orb noble, and there are online gossip columns predicting a marriage in the upcoming years. Shinn's not sure whether he wants to see another man sleeping with her, but he's not supposed to feel anything towards her that way. It's just that he welcomes a quick lay, even if it's going to take him a whole day off to get to where she is. He's doing it for the heck of it - that's what he tells himself.

They go back and forth and it's more or less along the same lines after they've fixed a date and logistics. Every person and their dog takes precautions that prevent diseases and pregnancies, but it's basic and he's also a doctor-in-training with standards, dammit, so they exchange updated records. He doesn't even have to ask, actually. She provides them, and he gets a copy of his too. They're clean, all of three of them. He doesn't ask who the other person is. He probably wouldn't know anyway. He doesn't care, even if he's a bit curious, but Shinn does have a query.

"Why are you doing this?" He types the question, but he knows she wouldn't really answer properly. He deletes it, and he knows it's better not to ask for explanations that he can't change. He doesn't really want to know who's the other person too. It changes nothing.

X

The travel from the Plants to get to the private island is such a bitch. He takes the Friday off. He clears the trash from his shoebox student apartment room before he goes. He makes sure his precautions are working. He spins some excuse to his flat mates who happen to see him going off at six in the morning. He suddenly remembers he forgot to clear the doctor's invoice from his desk for his checkup tests and the renewed sperm signal-deflector currently implanted in his arm. It's too late to go back and clear that shit. Fuck. Never mind. He'll spin another story if anybody finds it and asks.

He's fetched by an inter-galactic state approved automaton at the Aprilius boarding gate, so that he can drop out of the main queue. A woman and her daughter stare at him, because in his jeans and hoodie, he doesn't look like he should be boarding a special shuttle.

He's served food and drinks on the shuttle, and nobody else is on board. He ignores the server automatons, but digs around on the web, using his phone. Her recent interviews are on environmental taxes and inter-city migration policies. She's articulate and extremely sharp, but there's so much warmth and vitality - she brings a certain humour too.

He sees that she's clearly young, but she's in control, and nobody can fuck with her. She's only twenty-five, which is young enough by Natural standards, but even more startling when one considers the average age of the leading politicians outside the Plants. Still, she speaks with hard-earned personal experience and real authority. She's truly strong and powerful. He's going to fuck her this weekend. This is so fucked up.

She used to represent all that he hated. Uzumi Nara Atha stood for that screwed-up policy whereby Orb didn't get involved openly with wars, but secretly sold weapons to both sides. As the Orb lead emir, he preached a foreign policy of neutrality and therefore shouldn't have allowed fighting on Orb soil. But he did. And Shinn's family died.

After some more digging online, he finds a really old documentary of her and mostly her father. Back then, there wasn't so much footage of her that an hour-long production of just her would be possible. She hadn't consented to any interviews for that old documentary, and so it's a bit piecemeal and more speculative than informative. She couldn't have been more than sixteen then. She was so young, appearing at a formal event, accompanied by the Seiran family. She looked so uncomfortable and so different.

Her optimism and enthusiasm at Armory One had infuriated him when he'd first met her. She had a boyish rashness, and a kind of buoyancy in her speech. She was more naive and might have been less jaded and prettier then - younger, and more direct. Frankly, he doesn't really remember how she looked, only how he felt when he overheard her speaking about peace and ideals and that bullshit.

She had acted like there was a future, when he'd not seen any - he'd been a soldier gaining a reputation for taking crazy risks on the battlefields in space. He had wanted to punch her, but he couldn't, so he'd said some things instead. Her bodyguard had intervened.

Some bodyguard. Shinn ought to have found her then-bodyguard familiar at Armoury One. He laughs now, at the memory and irony of it. Someone like Athrun Zala, working under some false identity in Orb, protecting a person like Cagalli Yula Atha - like, what the fuck, seriously.

When Shinn had been dating Luna - or when Luna had been around because she was sympathetic towards him, which is probably what it really was - Luna had once said how worried she was about Meyrin living together with Athrun. She'd said that Athrun Zala and Cagalli apparently had been lovers before the Second War. Shinn hadn’t really thought much of it, because he didn’t care. At that time, Luna had also said that Athrun was being polite but also really being a dick to Meyrin, but Meyrin wasn't smart enough to get it.

Luna had said a bunch of stuff. Shinn hadn't really been listening then, and it all sounded unbelievable, gossipy, and also a bit fuzzy. It's also been at least five years since that time when he and Luna were together. He can't remember the details. He searches with different keywords, but there's not much about Cagalli during that time, and nothing appears when he now searches on her links to Athrun Zala and what Luna claimed to be their engagement. There's other stuff about other men though.

There's another more recent documentary that he finds, and somewhere near the end, there's some discussion of her romantic life with footage of her with different men at different events. There's this gala event she attended last year, and she was wearing a shimmering maroon cocktail dress. Shinn actually pauses the video to get a closer look and her face and her body. She's pretty hot, it's true.

Apparently, she's been seeing that emir who Shinn's read about, for more than a year. Shinn can't remember his Orb culture and history lessons from when he was nine or ten so well, but he knows that Orb nobles of the five ruling noble families marrying each other was apparently a thing in the past. The usual power consolidation and all that. She's supposed to be in a relationship with that emir, since two years ago.

Not that he cares - this weekend isn't supposed to be that kind of catch-up that he has over a meal with his friends. Her relationship with Etienne Rutherford and why they feel like having a threesome isn't his damn business.

He checks the shuttle's screen for the estimated time of arrival. Luckily, there's no other passenger on board the private shuttle to talk to him or ask questions, like why he's continuously watching all this footage of the Orb leader. It's all blue ocean beneath him. Arrival in Fiji is still more than two hours away.

X

By the time he's able to move around, escorted by the same shuttle's automatons, he's cleared four rounds of security. When he's finally able to press a doorbell, he knows that she'd probably been alerted to his arrival in the airspace of the island at least half an hour ago. He stands there with his duffel, feeling stupidly warm even if the palm trees provide some shade - it's dead middle of the afternoon and the sun is beating down on him. He's more or less used to the regulated temperatures of the Plants.

He almost presses the doorbell again, but the door springs open, and she's standing there, a ray of sunshine like they aren't just about to do the nasty.

"Shinn!" Cagalli says brightly. "Hello!"

It's almost a fucking class reunion or something, except there's nobody else here. He feels his palms sweating. It's not the weather per se.

She takes a step out and embraces him, her whole body open to his, and he hugs back, of course, tightly. There's a strange emotion that wells up in him, because it's been such a while, and he doesn't know what to say. He can feel her breasts and belly, her thighs, even if momentarily. He feels like four years haven't passed. He feels weirdly like she's family, which is another messed-up thought for the collection.

"Was the travel here difficult?"

"No, it was okay." It's only as awkward as he allows it to be, he tells himself, and he tries to smile back at her.

"Good, good." She takes him by the hand and leads him in, shuts the door behind them. "Come on then."

It looks like a normal door, but it whirs and clicks and Shinn knows there must be at least ten different systems for anyone to unlock it from the outside and inside.

She'd seemed to be alone, but Shinn knows the automatons are built in and locked on him, ready to fire at her signal. Even the autopilot helicopter that he'd gotten into and had clearance to use to get here had taken half a day of checks and security clearances before he could board it. Before he entered into this airspace, he'd had to provide a few more codes and questioning from her designated guard. Her lover, that emir dude, must be used to it. This level of security is Shinn's experience for a day. This is her life.

Still, she looks like she's learned how to find her freedom and live like this. The house is surprisingly simple inside and looks lovely, done in white and clean, warm tones and tan wood panels, and she moves like she doesn't care how dangerous the world outside can be for a state leader like her.

Outside the large windows, he can see a set of steps leading to a pool, cut in the cliffs, overlooking the ocean. There's a pair of simple gold stud earrings resting on the counter, and there's a vase filled with bird-of-paradise flowers and tall jade leaves. The air whistles through so that the curtains are always floating in the breeze, and the view is stunning. This place looks like it's set in paradise. It must have cost a fortune, but privacy for her is probably worth that premium.

She must have been swimming before this. She's covered in a bathing robe with long sleeves, her hair a bit dark and damp from water. She's barefaced. She isn't even wearing lipstick, which he somehow got accustomed to seeing her wear during all those broadcasted appearances. He can see the dusting of freckles, light as they are. There's no cover-up of the faint, dark circles under her eyes and the small imperfections of her skin.

Maybe she's wearing her bathing suit underneath, or maybe not both pieces. The robe is a bit damp, quite translucent, and her face and neck has that golden tan. She smells of suntan lotion and the sea, and her body felt warm. He doesn't know if she gets how fucking beautiful she looks.

She moves around in the kitchen and he sits at the table and watches her. He's somehow missed seeing her, even though they haven't had such a long history.

"There's food." She brings out a covered dish from the oven and sets it on the table. There's the smell of roasting and salt in the air. "Need fuel?"

"A bit, maybe, but I'm not that hungry." It's a lie, because he's starving. He couldn't eat anything on the shuttle - he was too nervous. His stomach growls and exposes his nervousness, and she laughs. It's very comforting, and the chicken that he takes a bite of is delicious.

"You make this?"

"Yeah, is it okay?"

"It's good. Really good."

She doesn't ask how's he's really been doing though. She opens and looks into a fridge, then peers at him. "Do you want something to drink? I have some wines and beers - coffee and tea too."

He nods - he could use liquid courage today. "Wine, please."

"Red?"

"Okay. Thanks." He prefers white, but he thinks he shouldn't be picky. He's smart enough not to talk about the orphanage children and mention what happened back then, when he ended up in her bed.

She pours him and herself some wine from a half-empty bottle at the bar, brings it over, and he picks at his food because he's uncomfortable with her watching him. Maybe she realises it - she finishes her very quickly, then pours herself a bit more.

She points at his duffel. "You can just leave it and come upstairs, when you're ready."

He is. He's been waiting for hours to get off the shuttle. He tries not to flush at the forwardness of this. He's quite forward too, when he's at the student bar and clubbing, and it's dark and there are strobe lights and he's a bit drunk and shouting into some girl's ear that he thinks she's sexy and he wants to go all the way. But it's weird, since this woman's, you know, the Orb princess.

He says, "Which room is it?"

It's probably not as big a place as the estate she has in Orb, but he doesn't want to go opening every door, trying to find her, and possibly running into Etienne Rutherford getting ready or something. A quick glance outside the window shows that the deck chairs alongside the pool are empty.

"Third room from the second corridor in. I'll leave the door open - I'm going to shower first. Get the salt out."

She quirks her mouth and starts moving away, even though she was the one who pushed things here. "Gonna lube up so that I can actually take a big boy like you."

"I'll come with you." He nearly trips over his words.

She pauses. He can see how her mouth is becoming slightly pursed. She looks like she might say something. But when he puts down the fork, comes around the counter, and comes close to touch her cheek, she closes her eyes and smiles briefly, like she's distracted with something else.

She looks like she's holding back something she wanted to say. He knows she won't offer any explanation. That's okay.

He slides his hand to trace her collarbones - they peek out from her robe, and then he pulls her robe a bit apart to slip his hand to trace and cup at a breast. Her white bathing top is damp, and he momentarily caresses a pert nipple through the material. He thought he'd felt those press against him when he'd hugged her earlier. Maybe if he undid her robe, he could see how the swimsuit would cling to her body. Maybe she would let him kiss and nip at her breasts through the cloth and run his warm hands over her exposed stomach. He would peel her from that bathing suit, confirm the tan lines crisscrossing over her body.

She still looks like she could be one of his classmates, but despite her youth, she's the lead emir of Orb, a world leader that people call the Orb princess. She could mother him. He's here, with her. He wants her. She wants him.

Her eyelashes are nearly touching her cheekbones. "Maybe you should finish your food. You might need the energy."

"Speak for yourself." He sounds more confident than he really feels. "You didn't eat anything."

"You're telling me what to do?"

She opens her eyes and looks at him with a direct, assessing stare. It's a bit familiar, like with that last time. It's like they shouldn't, but they don't care. It's like the last time. He thought that would be the only time. Turns out that they're more screwed up than they initially presented.

"I'm not. I'm just asking though - do you really want to do this?" He hates how he's nervous too, but he's sure that he really wants to take her now - complete what they've started, what they didn't finish from back then.

"Yes. That's why I brought you here. You down for it?"

He isn't sure if she seduced him that one time, but that doesn't matter now. Deep down, he thinks maybe this is a chance to show her why she was wrong to send him away those four years ago. For now, he's telling himself that he's doing this because it's just a bit of fun. He takes in a deep breath.

"Okay. I'm down. Is he - you know - around?" He can't properly process right now.

She studies him. "Not yet. But we can start first. I'm feeling it. Okay?"

He swallows. "Okay."

She steps away. She unties and ties her robe back together to adjust it. She looks at him with so much assurance, he almost thinks it's all a dream. A really wet dream.

"I'll shower, and then you can come help. You finish up here. See you in a bit."

X

He takes a shower too. He scrubs properly, really properly, like he's going into an operating theatre, and takes extra care with his pits and groin. He sees that she has spare toothbrushes left out, but anyway he uses his own. It's new. He brushes his teeth so hard, he almost bleeds.

Her hair still looks a bit damp when he gets out of the bathroom and goes to sit by the bedside. She's on the small-framed side, and quite a bit shorter than she looks on broadcasts or publications. But her breasts, thighs and ass are curvier than he'd remembered, and when she unties her dressing gown and he gets on the four-poster and looks at her in her cream-coloured lingerie with the coy sheer panels and cutouts, he thinks she's definitely more mature than from back then.

She's smart, brave, pretty, funny, sexy, and she's also crazy. She's just asking for a bit of fun, from him. Nothing wrong in that. His heart keeps pounding against his throat. Yoland was right.

"Shit." he says. He doesn't even remember if it's rude or smooth to say what he thinks. It's a bit weird, like he's picking her up from some messy bar on a Saturday night. But it's completely different. "You're so beautiful."

"Right back at you." She smiles at him, and he feels more confident. "You've been working out?"

"Gotta do what you gotta do." He gets closer to her, until he's right next to her. He doesn't tell her that he's been working out harder for the past two weeks since she texted, and he hasn't let himself jerk off for four days now. He's been eating clean too - his flat mates were wondering why the fridge was suddenly filled with vegetables and fruits. No need to tell her all that. He breathes deeply, trying to be calm.

He finds that she's slicked up already, but he grabs the small jar from the bedside, intent on doing that for her anyway. She stays supine, breathing into his touch, letting him explore and undo parts of her remaining clothing. The lingerie is a bit tight - there are a few strap marks that he traces with his fingers. Then he brings her close to lie on their sides, and he tries to kiss her. But she doesn't respond and ends it fast, turning on her other side. He can tell she's not that into kissing. Or maybe the problem is kissing with him. Like the last time, those four years ago. Or whatever.

He ignores that bit, because he was kinda prepared for that. He ignores the small twinge of hurt and disappointment, which anyway, he has no capacity to process right now.

He focuses on her body. She smells nice, like the floral and fruit toiletries that he also used, with her underlying scent, lube, and clean sweat under. There aren't any clear tan lines, except a hint or two on her shoulder blades and ass, so he thinks that maybe she laid nude in the sun, warming up for the afternoon. The thought turns him on and he feels himself stiffen a bit.

He sets to stroking her exposed belly, flat and taut with just that bit of cuddliness that he really likes. Then he cups and squeezes her tits hard enough for her nipples to rub together through the sheer material. When he leans over from behind her, he feels her turn for him to let him play with both at once - she's crazy sensitive there and tells him as much in those little gasps.

It's definitely been a while since she was struggling to get Orb back on its feet, and maybe she's been eating better, or maybe he's getting confused with someone else or whatever. He likes it though, it's kinda more womanly and it makes him feel like she's soft and feminine, but also strong and in control. He doesn't feel like she'll break.

She seems way more enthusiastic about his fondling than when he was kissing her, and when he gets a bit rougher, stripping off her top entirely to grope and fondle, nipping and biting a bit, she just leans back, lies on her side and gets his erection between their bodies and grinds hard against him. It feels good to have her breathing and writhing like that with her wet nubs hardening in his mouth, and he guesses she'd be okay if he tried more stuff, but then he stops. And he says, even though he knows better, "Why did you call for me? We haven't spoken in a bit."

She looks at him. She's unreadable. "I just feel like it. It's what I want, right now."

If he were lying, he'd say that her reasons would have mattered. Maybe it would be that much easier to be here if she said she'd carried a torch for him or something. But in this moment, she could have given him any reason or no reason, and he would have still come here to feel her hold him and have that buzzing, irritating want from four years ago satisfied. Maybe he's a pawn for her and some other emir who's on a weird power trip, but she's here and she asked him to be here, so it doesn't matter.

"You still fine being here?" she asks. She looks so exposed and vulnerable.

For an answer, he slides his head down, kissing and nuzzling, until he can rest on a thigh, finally pulling from under her the loosened robe and crumpling it, flinging it away. That white swimsuit would have been nice, but the lingerie with its delicate lace and cutouts is a complete step up from the usual college mix of jeans and cotton underwear that his partners have had. She folds up her knees and raises her hips up a little so that he can get those indecent little panties off and see her. The preview through that slit in the lace isn't enough.

"I want to eat you." he says, and he feels like an idiot, but he's had three glasses of wine and he's buzzed from the dehydration and anticipation. She's propped a pillow under and so she's right there for him. They were rushed before and he didn't get to do this, and so he's almost trembling with excitement when he slides two fingers to part and slick his fingertips against the innermost of those moist lips. "I'm kinda into this."

She smiles and runs a hand through his hair, then fastens her fingers near his scalp, massaging it. It's unexpected, that throaty laugh, coming from somebody he watches on screens and broadcasts as being so official and severe. It makes her body quiver and he thinks it's the sexiest sound.

"I'm kinda into this too." she says, and he's surprised that she can be so uncertain in one moment and so teasing in the next.

He's learning that he can't be vulnerable with her. But he does know how to tease."Giving, or taking?"

"Both. Same thing to me, really." There's an irreverence to her that he's really enjoying. "All prepared - I hope you're still hungry."

"Starving." Everything about her is unexpected. He remembers, with the force of a slap to his cheek, why he had become attracted to her. He gets to work, and it's good, because she's already wet and so responsive - she tastes and smells so clean. She wasn't lying when she said she was prepared and that she liked taking - she parts and spreads it out for him with her fingers, and grabs his chin with her other hand like she's not shy. He's pressing deep, putting his mouth over her and finding that nub with his tongue, and getting into it, really.

She keeps massaging his scalp and it feels so good, like she's finding his nerve wiring and sending electricity down through her fingers to his neck and right to his twitching cock. It's incredible having that while seeing how much wetter he can get her, and glancing up once in a while to watch her expressions and how her mouth is wet and parting. He wonders if she'll let him put himself between those glossy wet lips, maybe get her to return the favour. It makes him try even harder.

She begins to moan softly, almost inaudibly, and then it builds up with how he uses his mouth. He almost wishes he had more than one mouth, just so he could kiss her, play with those peach and cream titties, and eat her pussy and ass - eat her out everywhere and maybe talk dirty to her at the same time. He didn't get to do this the last time, and now he buries himself deeper, wanting her to feel him, wanting to have her weep there for him, and to keep digging those fingers into his scalp.

He's all caught up in it, and he's so busy trying to get every reaction and tremor from her, trying to catch it and feel her weep for him right there. Maybe if he weren't so into it, he would have heard someone coming up the stairs and opening the door to come in.

Frankly, it's not a great way to be introduced with his mouth slobbering, his tongue between her folds and clit, and his head jammed between her thighs, with two of his fingers still hooked in her ass. Sure, he's enjoying it and all, and yes, she was asking for it, but seriously, right? He's supposed to have ace reflexes, but maybe that's all gone down the toilet bowl when he's presented a pussy like this.

Anyway, as it turns it out, there's no need for introductions, since the man who's just joined them isn't some other messed-up emir, but Athrun Fucking Zala.

"About time that you got here." Cagalli says. "When you're ready then?"

"There were security procedures to clear." Athrun says, completely blase, at the doorway. "I should shower first."

"You know where stuff is. Help yourself."

"Sure." And Athrun shuts the door, and comes toward them. He's looking at them like he's caught them with their pants down, which is entirely accurate, basically. Shinn's clothes are on one side of the four-poster, and her lingerie is crumpled on the sheets.

Shinn thinks that if he's staring, it's forgivable. This is Shinn's former instructor and the soldier-prodigy son of Patrick Zala and all that genius-war-hero-defector shizz. Shinn knows jack about politics and Orb emir codes of conduct, but he's pretty sure lots of people think Cagalli's seeing another Orb emir. Hell, Shinn's willing to bet that Cagalli's not supposed to be associating with someone like Athrun Zala. But she's apparently seeing him illicitly, and now they're all supposed to fuck together. This is just inappropriate on another level.

But Cagalli seems completely unbothered at the interruption and maybe she's okay for Athrun to see them like this, which Shinn supposes must be right. She just leans back, naked and glistening, and rests Shinn's head on her thigh, like they're only taking an advertisement break.

Shinn doesn't know if he should say hello and continue looking at Athrun, or keep quiet and continue eating her out. Half of Shinn wants to applaud the coolness with which she must have been hiding this from whoever she's answerable to, and the other half of him wants to back out immediately. He's so uncomfortable, he has no words to ask what the fuck Athrun is doing here, and why Athrun had to be so bloody quiet about getting into this room, damn it.

"Shinn's getting me ready." she says to Athrun, and there's something about her voice that Shinn thinks is a petulant challenge. He sees Athrun glance down at the crumpled lingerie, and it's a wild thought, but Shinn feels like Athrun might have bought that for her. She just continues brushing her fingers against Shinn's ears, and he gets the cue to resume. Better that, than staring at Athrun.

Athrun doesn't say anything or get undressed, even though he said he'd shower. He just moves even closer towards them, sits on the side of the bed, and watches Shinn eating her out and prepping her. It's mortifying.

Not that Athrun says anything to him. He isn't wearing a uniform, but even in his civilian shirt and pants, there's his rigid posture and his eyes are guarded. Athrun just sits next to her, watching Shinn pleasure her, then lifts her face to kiss her briefly, like Shinn isn't even there between her thighs. It's probably a greeting, but there's something about the way that Athrun looks at her, even while she and Shinn are naked. There's something about how she lets Athrun kiss her.

Up close, Shinn can confirm that Athrun's still startlingly handsome, and that hair is kept in that slightly long style from back then. But somehow, something's different. The warmth that Shinn remembers seems to have faded. It's like he's become more severe and aloof than back when he could have been an older brother to most of them. It's not so much his appearance, as much as that still air about him. He looks older, which makes sense, but it's the clear hardness of his eyes and his jaw, and his body.

When Athrun slips a hand between her thighs, briefly touching Shinn's hair, Shinn feels his fingers run near Shinn's lips before withdrawing. It's like Athrun's ignoring him or something, like they don't already know each other. Shinn's not sure if he's supposed to not talk to Athrun - like ask him why he's here, or why he dumped Meyrin, or why he dumped Zaft and the Plants, and what he is to Cagalli these days.

"How long have you been here?" Athrun says. His voice is so quiet, but Shinn hears every syllable.

"Not very long." She says, and it's just as well because Shinn's not in a position to answer. "Come back quickly, I need you soon."

And she smiles, leaning into the pillows, watching Athrun move off to the bathroom. It's kinda creepy, Shinn thinks, whatever they're playing at - like this is some weird talkshow where they have recurring guests. Like does she engage in this behaviour frequently? Is Athrun actually insane, while seeming to have adapted perfectly in the monotony of the post-war world? What does that make Shinn then? Or is this a standard, routine threesome?

But Cagalli tugs at his hair, and his thoughts, jumbled as they already are, cease.

X

It's about ten minutes later that Athrun steps out of the shower, with his hair curling from being towelled down, arousal fully erect and clear even with the towel around his waist. Maybe he took extra time to be really thorough, like Shinn.

By then, Shinn's managed to give her an orgasm and she feels slick and loose enough where his fingers had eased in. He's since shifted up so that she can give him a hand, and they're being careful about her stroking and jacking him, just so that stays hard, but he doesn't come yet. His jaw is a bit sore, but it's just as well because it would have hung open, when Athrun loses the towel. The motherfucker even bothers folding it up to put on a chair.

Frankly, Shinn's glad that Cagalli stops touching him for a bit and rolls to her other side to look at Athrun, just so Shinn can stay behind her and pretend he's not oggling Athrun too.

Athrun's body is more rugged now - like there's been time and more than shitty soldier rations to become more built, but he's still more lithe than jacked. He has scars on his chest and his side, and Shinn knows they mirror his own from the wars. He's right fit though. Shinn's been in locker rooms with Athrun before, back then in Zaft, but Shinn's never imagined or seen Athrun like this, in this light.

Shinn gets why Cagalli and Meyrin would fuck Athrun. Hell, Luna probably would have happily volunteered too. Athrun's form is strong, and that chest and abdomen are obviously the efforts of a punishing fitness regime. He's properly hung, and he looks like he can really go at it. Then somehow their eyes meet, and Athrun's eyes are so steady like he's gonna kill something, and he looks like he owns everything in this situation and this room.

Luckily, Cagalli says, "About time."

She gets out of bed and slips down to her knees, by the bedside. She looks at Shinn with those cat eyes and it's too late to back out, and this is really happening. He gets off the bed to follow her, like he's in a trance, because there's obviously nothing else that he can do.

When he gets nearer, she curls those deceptively small, childish fingers and her palm around him. It's kind of turning him on, seeing how he looks in her hand. It's weird that he doesn't remember how small her hands are - it's probably because the broadcasts usually don't focus on those.

"Feeling okay?" she asks, and he remembers she's actually really sweet like that, caring to even try and make him feel like he belongs.

"More than okay." Shinn tells them.

Shinn's like most guys, even if he really prefers to go down, or get handjobs. But she's really, really something else. She breathes over him, lets him feel like she's anticipating it as much as him. Her mouth is moist and warm, and her lips quiver when they frame anything. She teases and licks before she slips him between her puckered lips, and he wonders if she practiced a lot on Athrun, maybe even got used to taking it real deep. She builds up the pressure, seems to know all his sensitive spots, and she makes it look like she's never wanted anything more than to have her mouth full with him like this. She finds the spot under his ridge and frenulum, and her tongue rubs him so good there, like she knows all about him and that he used to beg Luna to touch that spot.

He keeps trembling because he's trying so hard not to be rude and straight-up stuff her mouth and fuck her face like it's just another hole, but she's licking up every drop of precum from his tip and switching down to give his balls the time of their lives.

It's weird but really hot, seeing her go down on him like she's only got him, like maybe this is the last time she'll ever get to do this, but then switch over to Athrun, who's moved to stand over her other shoulder. Shinn's gotten past feeling insecure now, because she's there like this, and she's going down on them like it's a show. Frankly, he doesn't want it to end.

Athrun's completely under her control too. Like Shinn, he follows her lead and waits for his turn, lets her rub and jerk him with her left hand when she's sucking Shinn off. He reaches over her collarbone to caress and play with her breasts while she does Shinn with her mouth and other hand.

Athrun's all flushed there now, and there's even a slight ruddiness to his cheeks too. Athrun doesn't seem like the sort who would drag and smear wet lines over her mouth and cheeks and strain to be deepthroated. But that's exactly what's happening. This is the famous, mysterious war hero, getting blown sideways into the weekend by the lead emir of Orb. This is the person they call the Orb Princess, the princess of peace, on her knees, sucking cock so hard like it's all she ever does. Shinn can't tear his eyes away. It's surreal.

Athrun touches her like he knows she can take it, and he doesn't let up with his stroking and pinching at her nipples. She lets him and plays with herself too, and she manages to put both of them between her lips at some point. It's incredible, feeling the walls of her mouth and someone else crammed in there, throbbing and fighting for space towards the tunnel of her throat. Shinn's hand is buried in her scalp and his fingers touch Athrun's when they're both griping her hair. Even if it's only a bit before Athrun pulls out, it makes Shinn feel like his core could buckle inwards. He can hear himself cuss when he pulls off too.

Meanwhile, she turns to Athrun, who's waiting for his turn, and she cups at her chest and sheathes him there. She gives Athrun a good, hard tittyfuck and he pinches and pulls so that she gets those engorged nipples into her mouth too - barely. It's not like Shinn hasn't seen this with those holograms or had this before, but it's crazy seeing that blunt, dripping tip cushioned by her, with her coral lips and furled, wet buds brushing over everything, the white tips of her teeth peeking out from time to time - this is the same woman who could send missiles to end the Plants on any day.

At this point, Shinn is thanking all his lucky stars and Yoland for having taken the plunge. Athrun must have some kinda crazy control though, because he keeps his hands tight in her hair, moving his hips to thrust between her breasts and into her mouth, riding what she's giving him. He must have gone faster, because when she gets back to Shinn, she's gasping and panting in earnest by then.

Shinn's too excited and wound up now - she just needs to pump at him a few more times while kissing his tip, and running her tongue over and right into his slit. It feels so great that he straight-up loses it and just comes embarrassingly while also trying to pull away. Some of it goes onto her chin.

"Oh my god," he says. Like an idiot. "Shit!"

"Go on." she says, and her eyes are so, so golden. "Give it to me." He can't help it then. It's probably a bad move, even if she opens her mouth and wants it, and his jizz basically goes like, all over her face. There's so much that it drips into mouth, on her lips, on her chest, cooling on her skin. It's the best load he's blown in at least half a year, by far, and if Shinn didn't feel like dying from embarrassment, he would have admired his work. She looks so hot like this, one damp cheek framed by Athrun's hand, her eyes half-closed as she pants, his swollen hardness in his other hand, near her wet lips, waiting for her so he can go once Shinn's done. The more functional part of Shinn wishes that he could take a hologram video.

When Athrun comes, he doesn't even make an obvious sound. Watching them, Shinn doesn't know how Athrun can be so controlled about it instead of just blowing everywhere on her face and breasts already. Then again, his former instructor seemed too formal and entirely in control for any sort of debauchery. Half the shock was realising that the other crazy person who agreed to this arrangement was the mature, functional senior who had slapped sense into Shinn, those moons ago. And yet, here they all are.

By now, Shinn's willing to bet his last dollar that Athrun's probably a regular lover to her. It's mesmerising, how someone at least a head shorter than Athrun Zala can control someone as rational and guarded as that. He started off looking like he was above it all, but he's been worked into a state where he's plunging his thick cock deep into her mouth, as much as she can take and maybe more, messing it up and then shooting clean down her throat. The sea waves crash outside, but Shinn knows that Athrun must be able to hear her muffled exclamation and the sounds of her swallowing hard and then pulling off to suck and lick him clean. When she's done, she kisses him at the tip softly, lips wet, her eyes on his face, liquid gold.

The scent of spilt seed and amines in the air is unmistakeable now. Athrun's not looking at Shinn - thank Haumea - he's staring down at her, and he tugs at her bottom lip, running his thumb over it, brushing their seed across her mouth, and pulling it back as soon as she tries to suck at his finger. His face is relaxed now, a small teasing smile spreading. The only thing that gives Athrun away is that slight tremble in his hand when he releases her hair.

"I'm sorry." Shinn says. He doesn't know what else he utters. He just knows he came too early. He shouldn't have had that wine. He shouldn't be here. He can feel himself turning red. This is amazing. But it's fucking embarassing.

But Cagalli rests her palms on the ground and just grants him that beatific smile. She's still kneeling where she is, lips still stained from use, angelic by all standards with her ruffled, golden hair and how she took care of them. "It's fine. Frankly, I don't mind as long as the carpet isn't ruined, and you both aren't done for the day."

Athrun sits down on the bed and says something about the carpet which Shinn's too flustered to quite catch, but Shinn does get that passive-aggressive snipe when Athrun asks if he's too tired to continue, since they started earlier.

Frankly, it pisses Shinn off. "Hell, no, we were just prepping - we can do more. Give me five and we can get on with the programme."

Yeah so maybe Athrun had Shinn's respect when they were in Zaft, but personally, there was always something about Athrun that pissed Shinn off. Maybe it was that mature, in control, 'I'm-the-motherfucking-OG-ace-pilot-soldier' and the 'been-to-hell-but-I'm-still-that-nice-guy' vibe. Like he was better than Shinn, like he knew better than Shinn. And yeah, maybe Athrun did then, and yes, maybe Athrun can hold it together better, but Shinn's not a kid anymore. He resented Athrun then, and it still feels raw. In a different kinda way. He can feel himself glaring at Athrun. Not that Athrun even notices.

"I'm counting on it." Cagalli says. Athrun actually chuckles, and it's a fucking weird moment, because Shinn realises he hasn't ever heard Athrun laugh sincerely before.

He watches Athrun help her up. Actually, Athrun simply lifts her like she weighs nothing, depositing her into the four-poster, and settling in by her side. She nuzzles Athrun, who brings the sheets around their lower bodies, but then she grins and stretches a hand towards Shinn, who's standing and staring at them. It's almost like she's assuring Shinn of her invitation.

Maybe she gets that Shinn's confused and worked up. It really shouldn't be possible, but he could get hard again. He's gonna, if it's the last damn thing he does. He takes her hand and gets in, on the other side of the bed. He looks right at Athrun, who stares back and right through him, but Shinn's nothing if not a fighter.

He's not gonna back off because she wants him too, dammit. She asked him here first. He got here first. He got her to come first. He's equal - he's no afterthought. He's just as relevant. So what if she won't kiss him, but she'll kiss Athrun? Fuck that shit. Fuck her. Fuck Athrun Almighty Zala.

X

Which is exactly how it goes down. They don't hold a conference and draw lots or anything, but somehow they fall into place. Shinn gets to lube and fuck her ass first while Athrun takes care of everything else; eats her out from the front while Shinn pushes into her from the back. And then they switch for sloppy seconds and it's clear that they're all really feeling it. It's insane, even if Shinn's chalked up plenty of experience with casual sex and hookups ever since he enlisted. The military taught him how to be a soldier and discipline and all that, but really, it was also such a mess with young adults signing up to basically learn how to kill.

So this is it, really. This is probably the craziest shit he's done after the Second War, short of when he dabbled in some non-prescription drugs before the cops came to fetch him. He knows he spiralled for a while - maybe that's why Luna got tired of him. When he cleaned up, he decided to go back to Orb to retrace where it started going wrong. That's how he ended up meeting Cagalli - not the Atha emir, just Cagalli. He met the Cagalli who somehow could smile and laugh with him, not the politician from Armoury One and Uzumi Nara Atha's daughter. But it was just another sideshow. That's why he decided to go back to the Plants and get his shit together. That's why he's here now. It's a reminder of how strange the normality he's achieved is - with a bit of perspective.

She's moaning, completely out of control as they thrust into her both ways, so hard that sharp, high-pitched gasps spill from her lips. She'd controlled the pace initially, having him sitting with his back cushioned, but now he's moving at his own speed, feeling her hold him within her while her hands grip his.

"Minx." Athrun says. "You couldn't just fuck me." Again, Shinn thinks he might have taken some hallucinogens and is imagining Athrun talk like that - he tries not to think about how much harder he is, hearing Athrun. Above her, Athrun's moving with deep and hard strokes that Shinn can feel, even while cased between her inner thighs, through her.

Shinn's never been on the edge like this for so long, and they're pushing in and dragging out of her so deeply that he thinks she might be turned inside out. He can't be expected to last so long though - when he pumps away into her in earnest, her ass is tight enough for him to start babbling shit. She directs them, bosses them about, pushes him. He's into it though. He slept with her four years ago, and since then, he's learned that he barely scratched the surface of who she really is. He doesn't want to analyse why he likes her so much anyway, because it might mean he hasn't moved on. But right now, he hasn't been this turned on since he doesn't know when.

This is valid - everything in moderation, including moderation. All this still counts, because there's a time and place even for the worst decadence like this. Sure, maybe Shinn's okay and supposed to be back in the so-called mainstream life, but if he weren't here, maybe he would be having some threesome in some university dorm anyway - maybe. He looks at them twisted in sensation and pleasure, and he thinks that it's better them than absolute strangers, maybe. Maybe they all deserve this, and maybe he just needs to enjoy this without thinking about how this shit happened.

Cagalli seems to have arrived at that happy conclusion anyway. Shinn's really not into that shit with guys, but when he's stuffing her mouth and has a prime view of her ass getting split apart by Athrun, he wonders how good it could feel if he was being dicked down with a cock like Athrun's. She must take him regularly, because she rides it like it can't hurt her anywhere, squeezes him and moves with his rhythm, touches him like she knows how to get him all tense and ready to blow again.

She's susceptible too, and she's just as human and flawed as them. She's nearly begging, asking for them to mess her up, even though she's supposed to be untouchable and unflappable. But Shinn looks at her and marvels that all it takes is a bit from Athrun and she's incoherent, shaking and moaning, the dirtiest, honeyed utterings falling from the same lips that she must dictate state speeches with. They've fucked her hard enough for her to clench her hands into the sheets, but when Shinn gets away to try and breathe and stop cumming like a loser and Athrun takes over completely, she just melts into him.

Shinn watches them for a while, and obviously Athrun has no issues dealing with everything she's feeling up for. But Shinn figures he shouldn't just watch passively for the last of it, so he fits himself to face her. He wants to watch her eyes snap open and her expression distort when he slides in, and she doesn't disapoint. She hisses something about wanting, and grabs his shoulders for support.

"What did you say?" he breathes, caressing her face and breasts, knowing full well she can't answer when she's semi-coherent. "You want more?"

He moves his hips in time with Athrun's, and then she whimpers, but goes perfectly with them. It makes Shinn want to muffle those sounds because she sounds like they're breaking her, but then Athrun moves behind and against her just so that she tilts up and Shinn feels himself brush against her womb. It makes him groan, but she's no better. Her face is twisted in pleasure, mouth slack, her chest bouncing in time with his body, and he decides he wants to hear her sound like this, forever. He fucks her just a bit faster now, lost.

It's the start of his climax in her, but in the blooming rise of his pleasure, he feels something yank hard, viciously at his arm, which had been curled around Cagalli's shoulders. His eyes involuntarily snap open, and somehow, he instinctively pulls from her. But before he can say anything, he's suddenly being wrestled and pushed down to lie on his back, beneath them. It's rough, but it's so quick that Shinn almost can't believe that he's lying on his back, where Athrun was just moments ago.

From where Shinn is, he can't see Cagalli's expression, but he can suddenly see everything so clearly. Shinn watches Athrun kiss and fuck her like she's all he has, and maybe that's just it. There's something about Athrun like this, face open like gunfire, body glistening and rigid, mouth gritted with his teeth showing, those eyes burning like comets.

Athrun looks like a wild creature. He's like every other man fucking, maybe, but Athrun isn't in a normal headspace now. It makes Shinn think of when Athrun shot down people in space, and it's a different man from the composed supervising officer in the practice range. Shinn knows what Athrun really is under that facade - Shinn's seen Athrun kill plenty of times, with nothing except cold logic to justify those murders. Shinn's never killed without being in a rage, or some state of shock. Athrun had, and Shinn suddenly realised that Athrun still can. Maybe this is why Athrun can't go back to a truly civilian life.

Cagalli seems to be fine with whatever Athrun wants though. Shinn gets it now, even if it's too late - he doesn't know everything, and he never will, but that's a time that he never existed in, when Cagalli must have known by then what Athrun was - is. She holds and bends for Athrun, arches into him like he's part of her; curves into him like she won't ever break.

"I love you so much." Athrun grounds out. It's so choked, it sounds like weeping. He's doubled over, likely coming in her, but he's stripped down like this, and Shinn sees and gets it now.

The winds outside are getting stronger. The curtains flap against the large window doors, shielding the balcony. What Athrun said could have been lost with the crashing waves. But Shinn heard. And maybe she heard too.

She just holds Athrun closer, the two of them that Shinn can't completely decipher, and even tilts her head and opens her mouth for Athrun to kiss and consume her - like how she didn't let Shinn. Shinn doesn't think he'll try again. Then Athrun comes, gasping with a groan that tears into Shinn's muddled mind, his body tense above Cagalli's, and those sharp wolf eyes flicker open, move past Cagalli's face, and momentarily lock into Shinn's - like Shinn wouldn't dare touch either of them.

Then somehow, Athrun's hand finds him and begins to stroke and pump at him. Shinn wants to shove him away and get out of there. This is bullshit. Cagalli shouldn't have done this. Still, Shinn also wants this. He's still aroused, so close to completion, and Shinn's just too tired to fight anymore. It's easy and he's cumming in Athrun's hand, too ashamed to open his eyes when he's reduced to this. The truth is that he was never in the fight.

But he knows he wanted Cagalli so badly. He wanted her to give two shits about his person and wellbeing. It wasn't enough to mess around like this. He wanted her to hold him like she holds Athrun, and let him kiss her. It's not fair that he can only be here like this. But beggars can't be choosers. And Shinn won't beg anymore.

X

"If you ever agree to do this with her again, I'll kill you myself."

It's all very simple and impersonal, the way Athrun says it, maybe like how he would have explained how to perform an aerial manoeuvre all those years ago. Like how any child would get it, like those feats were merely something taken to a plainly logical conclusion.

But it's fucking not. It's not even the boldness of the threat or the way that after all this time, Athrun still won't act like Shinn's his equal - none of that gets to him as much as the presumptiousness that nobody needs to explain anything to Shinn, and that he'll still take orders to without being told the reason for those orders.

Shinn's hackles are already raised, and he's too flustered to think again before his fists are balling, the words flying out. "You don't own her. She asked for me."

Athrun's stare doesn't waver. "I know. You don't have to tell me that." Then he just turns back to watch the waves, taking another drag of the cigarette that Shinn had provided. Shinn almost regrets giving it to Athrun. But this shit has already happened, and they don't call him Steel Asuka without half-meaning it.

"If you love her, you shouldn't let me be around. If you want to fight for her, nothing's stopping you."

Athrun doesn't respond.

Shinn didn't know then. But now he knows enough. Athrun isn't lying. Athrun must have agreed to what she wanted, then tolerated the past hours as his own private hell for some reason that Shinn won't be told of. Shinn won't understand all of it, but he gets it - enough, anyway.

"It won't happen again." Shinn says, after a long pause. It's not a promise. It's the truth. Shinn doesn't take to being threatened, but Athrun wasn't making a threat. It's the same as what Shinn says.

Shinn turns away, because he can't bear to look at Athrun any more. If he's honest, he'd say that he's afraid to. With the little that Athrun said, Shinn knows what he hurt and smashed today.

The smoke from their cigarettes curl around their fingers, and it'll cling to his hair for the next hour. He can't help himself though. "She won't even kiss me."

X

He's running late for this basketball game that he said he'd go to. It's much less humid back here in the Plants, and there are no oceans like those that had held her island in a necklace of others. He had more or less been comatose in the shuttle back, last weekend. He's not been very focused in his classes this week, but he's definitely more relaxed. It's like he's gone so far over the edge that nothing can make him tense anymore. That's probably it.

He doesn't know if he was supposed to see, but he knows he saw Athrun bend to kiss her while she was asleep. The ocean had been so blue, outside the windows, behind them, beyond the balcony. He saw something in Athrun's face - not anger, but something Shinn thinks might be love. Resignation, maybe. It can't be forgotten so easily. Athrun hadn't shown Shinn to the door. There hadn't been a need to. Shinn had left before she'd woken up, and maybe Athrun had taken her all over again. Shinn doesn't know - won't ever know.

Shinn can try to dig up more about them, to understand how and why they're doing whatever they're doing. He had wondered about those few tears rolling down her cheeks - Athrun had caught and brushed them away so quickly that they were almost never there. He can keep thinking about why Athrun stooped to threaten him, even though Shinn is quite sure Athrun is the kind of person who never has to threaten anything. Shinn has the urge to tell Athrun that he's being a fucking idiot, and that it doesn't suit Athrun to suffer in silence. Or Shinn can just store the best and most relevant memories for a good wank later, concentrate on the path he was forging, and get his ass to the basketball game.

Vino's calling, probably to ask where the fuck he is. And so he flicks shut his phone, deleting the message that he'd wanted to send in the process, and grabs his keys.

X


End file.
